10/23/2010 10:26:30 PM
I am supposed to write about something else, graduate school requirements. But my heart is telling me I need to let the emotions flow. I had just seen the movie, Letters to Juliet. It was light yet very heartwarming. But it never appeared to me that early how I could possibly relate to it that much. The plot was far from my own story but the struggles Sophie was facing basically reflected my own battle.
She loved her fiancé. She tried to live in his world. She did her best to love everything that was dear to him until she felt she was not special to him anymore. That he simply looks at her but never really sees her. Couples are supposed to want to be with each other all the time even when they really have to be apart. They are supposed to miss each other so much that when they are not together they could hardly wait to be reunited in each other’s arms. But she didn’t feel that Victor felt that way about her. He could go on for days without her. When he is on the phone with her, he would hastily say goodbye for some work to be done, and when he is with her he is always on the phone talking to someone for some work to be done. But Viktor loved her, no doubt. It was just that he loved other things more.
I had not identified with Sophie at the start of the movie not until she started writing that letter for Claire. I realized I had so much of her in me when Claire read that letter that Sophie wrote for her. Listening to it was like listening to the very words of my heart. Sophie believed in the same things I believe about love. I am a psychology professor, not a writer nor a poet. I am supposed to look at emotions objectively but this is how I was born, stubbornly romantic. I am a behavioral scientist who happens to believe in destiny, Soulmates, and TRUE LOVE. I AM romantic and I surely hope to be found by a man who would be in the same length of experiencing life as I am.
I have studied about love and attraction. I have always been convinced that, “birds of the same feathers flock together” but was kept attracted to men who rarely shared anything in common with me. The countless failures and failed relationships I had made me think that maybe I am never meant to be with anybody, blamed my lovers for what happened, and made myself suffer from guilt. But Sophie’s story allowed me to be a little bit more convinced that it was nobody’s fault…we were simply incompatible. I am romantic and very particular with fidelity, honesty, commitment, and the preservation of the traditional values of the family. My former lovers then had a different perspective. It all had to end. But now, I am more confident that God has not brought me this far just to drop me off. He loves to see the rest of my love story just as He has always planned it to be. In all of my breakups, I have never completely gone over a previous relationship before I jump into another. But this time it has been different. For the first time in my life, I truly understood and embraced the truth that the very cause of my failed relationships was incompatibility. This enlightenment has made me forgive my former lovers and myself. This forgiveness had released me from the chains of bitterness, suffering and unnecessary sense of guilt. For the very first time, after several failed relationships I have moved on, completely… I have gotten over with my recent breakup, surprisingly while single.
Certainly, God wants me to be psychologically ready for my Soulmate. He wants to see me grow mature. He wants me to fall for my Soulmate not because I needed to, to get over with somebody else, but because I simply could not help but love him! God works in amazing ways, truly. I will not worry from now on. I am in GOOD HANDS. I will not choose who to love; I am asking God to do it for me. I surrender my will to Him. I will not even worry about how I will know that it is him. There was nothing He ever did that has not benefited me in the long run. He wants me to feel complete first before I find myself looking into my Soulmate’s eyes…because He wants me to know who exactly I am looking for and what I truly need by knowing first who I really am and what it is that I certainly need. Somewhere, I know there is someone who has been praying for me to find him too and like me, God is still molding him into that man I am looking for and truly need just as God is shaping me into that woman that my Soulmate has been praying for.
I suggest, you watch the movie if you haven’t done so. It’s sweet and is definitely an eye-opener…simple but heartwarming.